What are the challenges in Raising Children in todays society?
We live in challenging times. While technological advances give us more opportunities, the social evils in society provide an environment that poses a threat to us. In such times a child is born and parents have dreams. What do they wish for?
Goals For Our Children
If it is a boy, the family wishes for health and a good education. For him to become well-known with a well paid status-worthy job. `Parents want a marriage for their son that brings more prosperity and status to the family. As the boy passes on through middle age, they wish for his good health, that he is respected by the elite, and that he is blessed to go to heaven.
If it is a girl, the family wants her to be beautiful, slim, have good health, be obedient and well-mannered, and to get enough education to enable her to get married into a status-worthy family. The daughter must bear sons and have healthy children. Throughout her life, she must serve her new family. Parents would like to hear her being praised for being the best daughter-in-law ever born. This would make them happy.
Your Priority?
The above are the things in our culture that most matter to parents raising their children.
Unlike the western culture, our focus and priority are more on raising children than anything else. Parents make a dedicated effort to having the wherewithal for buying the right car, wearing upmarket clothes, being house-proud and keeping up appearances for all around. They aim towards giving children the perfect education, get them hired into the best job and married into the rich and status worthy family.
As parents, we never give up. Our efforts are limitless and we do not accept any stops or justifications. We tirelessly work to give the most towards these goals of making our wishes for our children come true.
Fears As Parents? How Do You Respond.
What are some of the fears that trouble us as parents? Our children may get attacked, molested, killed, get swindled, or become part of a gang. When they travel to different areas, they may become friendly with disreputable and corrupt people, causing immeasurable harm to their future. Influenced by others they may take drugs, become dishonest, not keep their marriage vows or become uncaring of their family and their children. We worry they may become involved in bribery and corruption – worst of all they may become part of a dishonourable religious or political group that leads them astray.
If such happens to our child, we feel ashamed and we may even hide the facts from others and remain troubled and anxious about the situation. We feel helpless but still do our best to turn things around. When we see no change we eventually may try to accept it as fate.
In Life You Reap What You Sow
There is a well known saying that “You reap what you sow”.
In other words, where you put the effort you get the result. If you put effort into getting the son into the best university, getting the right tuition, overcoming hurdles, then you are likely to meet the educational goals.
Similarly, if all efforts are made for the daughter to marry into the right family then it is more than likely it will happen.
Dreams for Children
The fears and worries we have for our children are not based on what we may or may not do to them or for them. We are quite certain we will do all we can.
We may even shed our own blood to enable the wishes we have for our children to come true.
Our main fear is what other people or society, in general, may do to them. They may destroy our dreams for them, leaving them helpless and a failure in life.
Society Provides Opportunities
The truth is that we live in a society that can be a source of help or it can be a source of trouble for us. What we need to see is that if we truly want the dreams for our children to come true, we will need to spend some degree of effort on improving areas that threaten the well-being, safety and honourable character of our children.
While we take responsibility for our close family, there is no family that can be found to live in isolation. Social evils are all around us in society and we cannot isolate our children for the sake of their protection and safety. The children of poor families, who roam in the street may perhaps pose no threat to us now.
They, however, do grow up. Those children who missed schooling are taken advantage of by the extremist religious groups or child labour groups, or those selling drugs. Such youth roam the street our own children live in and they are present around universities we send our children to.
Society poses Threats
By ignoring the street-kids education we are actually putting our own children at risk. We are causing our own families demise. Education involves the development of critical thinking skills to judge and assess the value and benefit of a person, thing or activity. Our children are safe to the degree that every child can do this assessment.
This includes making sure that street children too are getting a quality education.
No child should be left behind.
The majority of the evils of society will decline if children are given true education, which includes following an academic and character-skill building curriculum.
How Can You Protect Them?
It is therefore imperative that a family looks beyond the walls of its home and takes on responsibility for those who have been forgotten by society.
By providing a quality education to those who have missed primary education and on whom the doors of education have been shut, we in actual fact reduce the risk of harm to our own family and children.
We increase the likelihood of our dreams coming true for our children when we take responsibility to create a better society for our children to grow up in.
Can "Reap What You Sow" apply to Society Too?
Most families do give charitable amounts to help the poor and needy. But as most give to their own relatives, there is no one left to help these poor communities and take responsibility for the forgotten street-kids. If we truly care for our own family and the safety and environment our children grow up in, then we have to spread our wings and widen our sphere of responsibility.
We have to be responsible for those forgotten by society and consider them as we consider our own family. Then, and only then, can we come closer to realising our dreams for our children and ensure they reach their full potential.
Let us do something worthwhile for this life and beyond. Join hands with us in giving new hope to these street-kids.
We await your call.
Fareeda Abbasi